Three Korean doctors slain in north Nigeria: police






KANO, Nigeria: Men armed with knives slit the throats of three South Korean doctors in a pre-dawn attack Sunday in a volatile town in northeastern Nigeria in the latest in a spate of killings of foreigners in recent months, police said.

The attack in Potiskum also came just two days after gunmen killed at least 10 people in horrifying attacks on two Nigerian polio clinics in a new blow to the campaign to wipe out disease, but it was not clear if the incidents were related.

Yobe State police commissioner Sanusi Rufa'i would not say if the Islamist group Boko Haram, which has been active in Potiskum, was responsible for Sunday's killings, but that the attack was being investigated.

He said unknown attackers scaled the fence of an apartment housing the three doctors at around 1:00 am and slit their throats, initially describing the victims as Chinese.

"Further investigations have shown that the victims were Korean nationals and not Chinese as earlier stated. They were doctors from South Korea," Rufa'i told AFP, in comments confirmed by a senior military official in the state.

Residents said the Koreans, whose bodies were found by neighbours, were employees of the state ministry of health and had been living in the city for one year.

In Seoul, the foreign ministry said it was checking the reports, but noted that few Koreans live in the town.

"The chance that the slain would be Koreans is not high," a foreign ministry official told Yonhap news agency. "But we are checking further related situations via diverse channels."

A local resident said the bodies of the Koreans were found in their room by neighbours who alerted security agents,

"People became worried when the doctors did not open their door in the morning," one resident who did not want to be named told AFP.

He said the victims had their throats slit, but it was not immediately clear if the assailants also came with guns.

"It is still premature to point any accusing fingers but we have commenced an investigation to unravel the killings," said Rufa'i, adding: "No arrest has been made."

Sunday's attack was the latest in a spate of killings of foreigners, especially Chinese nationals, in the country's restive northeast.

In November, gunmen shot dead two Chinese construction workers in nearby Borno State, the stronghold of the Boko Haram extremists.

Three other Chinese nationals have also been killed in separate attacks in the region.

Although no group claimed responsibility for the attacks, they were similar to previous strikes against foreigners by Boko Haram.

Violence linked to Boko Haram is believed to have left some 3,000 people dead since 2009, including killings by the security forces.

The killings in Potiskum, which lies about 100 kilometres (60 miles) from the state capital Damaturu, followed attacks on other health workers in the northern city of Kano on Friday.

Nine women and a man were shot dead in two separate attacks in Kano after a local cleric denounced polio vaccination campaigns and some local radio stations aired conspiracy theories about the vaccine being a Western plot to harm Muslims.

Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan condemned Friday's killings, describing them as "dastardly terrorist attacks" and vowed to track down the perpetrators.

Boko Haram has claimed to be fighting for the creation of an Islamic state, but its demands have shifted repeatedly and it is believed to include various factions. Criminal gangs and imitators are also suspected of carrying out violence under the guise of the group.

Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation and largest oil producer, is divided between a mainly Muslim north and predominantly Christian south.

- AFP/ck



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Almost famous: See celebs' early roles








By Henry Hanks, CNN


updated 5:05 PM EST, Thu February 7, 2013





















Stars who started out like GoDaddy's geek


Jesse Heiman


Sylvester Stallone


John Travolta


Keanu Reeves


Courtney Cox


Matt LeBlanc


Tina Fey


Rainn Wilson


Megan Fox


Dean Winters















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Officials: 5 dead in Canary Islands cruise ship accident

Updated 11:00 p.m. ET



MADRID A lifeboat from a cruise ship fell into the sea at port in Spain's Canary Islands, killing five people and injuring three others Sunday, officials said.

Thomson Cruises, a British company, issued a statement after the incident, saying it "is aware of an incident involving the ship's crew on board Thomson Majesty, in La Palma, Canary Islands this afternoon."

"We are working closely with the ship owners and managers, Louis Cruises, to determine exactly what has happened and provide assistance to those affected by the incident," the statement added.

A regional government statement said rescue personnel were called to the dockside at 1205 GMT (7:05 a.m. EST) after "a lifeboat with occupants had fallen overboard from a cruise ship docked at the pier of Santa Cruz port in La Palma." Spanish national broadcaster RTVE said an emergency training drill was taking place at the time of the accident.

A reporter at the dockside said all of those in the lifeboat at the time of the accident were crew members. Television images showed a small, white two-hulled lifeboat capsized beside the ship. It was not immediately clear if there were any other people in the lifeboat when it crashed into the sea, or whether the Thomson Majesty ship had any passengers on it.

The nationality or sex of those who died was not known, the statement said, adding that the injured were all men, two aged 30 and another, a Greek national, was 32 years old. The injuries weren't considered to be life-threatening.


canary islands, generic

The Canary Islands, as seen from space


/

NASA/GSFC

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Paternos Issue Report, Challenge Freeh's Findings













A new report commissioned by Joe Paterno's family challenges the conclusion by former FBI director Louis Freeh that the late Penn State coach conspired to hide child sex abuse allegations against former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky.



The Paterno family's critique, released Sunday, argues that the findings of the Freeh report published last July were unsupported by the facts.



Former U.S. Attorney General Dick Thornburgh, one of the experts assembled by the family's lawyer to review Freeh's report last year to Penn State, said the document was fundamentally flawed and incomplete.



Freeh's report reached "inaccurate and unfounded findings related to Mr. Paterno and its numerous process-oriented deficiencies was a rush to injustice and calls into question" the investigation's credibility, Thornburgh was quoted as saying.



In a statement released Sunday through a spokesman, Freeh defended his work.



"I stand by our conclusion that four of the most powerful people at Penn State failed to protect against a child sexual predator harming children for over a decade," he said.



Paterno's family released what it billed as an exhaustive response to Freeh's work, based on independent analyses, on the website paterno.com.






Patrick Smith/Getty Images|Gene J. Puskar/AP Photo











Jerry Sandusky Insists Innocence Before Sentencing Watch Video









Jerry Sandusky Sentencing: Why Did He Release Statement? Watch Video









Jerry Sandusky Claims Innocence in Audio Statement Watch Video






"We conclude that the observations as to Joe Paterno in the Freeh report are unfounded, and have done a disservice not only to Joe Paterno and the university community," the family's report said, "but also to the victims of Jerry Sandusky and the critical mission of educating the public on the dangers of child sexual victimization."



Freeh's findings also implicated former administrators including university president Graham Spanier, athletic director Tim Curley and retired vice president Gary Schultz. Less than two weeks after the Freeh report was released in July, the NCAA acted with uncharacteristic speed in levying massive sanctions against the football program for the scandal.



"Taking into account the available witness statements and evidence, it is more reasonable to conclude that, in order to avoid the consequences of bad publicity, the most powerful leaders at Penn State University — Messrs. Spanier, Schultz, Paterno and Curley — repeatedly concealed critical facts relating to Sandusky's child abuse" from authorities, trustees and the university community, Freeh wrote in releasing the report.



The former administrators have vehemently denied the allegations. So, too, has Paterno's family, though it reserved more extensive comment until its own report was complete.



The counter-offensive began in earnest this weekend. The family's findings said that Paterno:



— Never asked or told anyone not to investigate an allegation against Sandusky 12 years ago, Saturday, Feb. 9, 2001.



— Never asked or told former administrators not to report the 2001 allegation.



— And never asked or told anyone not to discuss or hide information reported by graduate assistant Mike McQueary about the 2001 allegation.



"Paterno reported the information to his superior(s) pursuant to his understanding of university protocol and relied upon them to investigate and report as appropriate," the family's analysis said.



Paterno's widow, Sue, broke her silence Friday in a letter to hundreds of former players informing them of the report's impending release. "The Freeh report failed and if it is not challenged and corrected, nothing worthwhile will have come from these tragic events," she wrote.





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How Obama can end Congo conflict












Conflict in Congo


Conflict in Congo


Conflict in Congo


Conflict in Congo


Conflict in Congo








STORY HIGHLIGHTS


  • President Obama can help end the Congo conflict for good, says Vava Tampa

  • Obama has asked Rwanda to end all support to armed groups in the Congo

  • FDLR militia gang is a threat to stability and must leave Congo

  • Obama must push for change in Congolese government, argues Tampa




Editor's note: Vava Tampa is the founder of Save the Congo, a London-based campaign to tackle "the impunity, insecurity, institutional failure and the international trade of minerals funding the wars in Democratic Republic of the Congo." Follow Vava Tampa on twitter: @VavaTampa


(CNN) -- Now that President Obama has taken a public stand on the warlords and militia gangs tyrannizing DR Congo, there is a sense that the next chapter in the human tragedy that has been raging there over the past decade and half is about to be written -- or so we can hope.


In the DRC -- Africa's largest sub-Saharan country -- invasions, proxy wars and humanitarian crises have senselessly shut down millions of lives, displaced millions more from their homes and left countless women and young girls brutally raped with the world barely raising an eyebrow.


The latest murderous attempt by the M23 militia gang to besiege Goma, the strategic regional capital of Congo's eastern province of North Kivu, seems to have backfired.



Vava Tampa

Vava Tampa



The United Nations says Rwanda has helped to create and militarily supported M23. Although Rwandan President Paul Kagame denies backing M23, the accusation has taken off some of the international gloss he had long enjoyed in the West, and precipitated cuts and suspension of aid money that goes directly to the Kagame regime by the Netherlands, Sweden, Germany, Britain and the European Union.


The United States, which gives no money directly to the Rwandan government, suspended its military aid. In a baffling expression of a refinement of the U.S. position, President Obama made a rare telephone call to Kagame to emphasize "the importance of permanently ending all support to armed groups in the DRC." That set a firm red line on the situation in that region, the first one by President Obama since becoming president in 2008.
















Watch video: Kagame on Congo


This was certainly right and good. Kagame is no fool; the diplomatic but emphatic content of that telephone call, monitored by White House's National Security staff and published thereafter for public consumption, speaks volumes. He clearly understood the implicit threat. But it was not good enough.


Left unsaid is that withholding aid money that goes directly to the Kagame regime has not changed many realities on the ground -- a painful reminder of the limits of what previous half-hearted, ambivalent international attempts to halt the crisis in that country had achieved.


However, the situation is not hopeless. President Obama can help to halt the wars engulfing the Congo. It is both economically and politically affordable.


Here is my suggestion -- a three-point road map, if you like, for President Obama, should he choose to put the weight of the United States squarely on the side of the Congolese and engage much more robustly to help end the world's bloodiest war and human tragedy.


Read more: Why the world is ignoring Congo war


1. Changes in Kinshasa


If we are to be blunt with ourselves, Congo's major problem today -- the chief reason that country remains on its knees -- is its president Joseph Kabila. Paul Kagame is just a symptom, at least in theory.


The crisis of leadership in the capital Kinshasa, the disastrous blend of lack of political legitimacy and moral authority, mixed with poor governance and vision deficiency, then compounded with dilapidated state institutions, has become the common denominator to the ills and wrongs that continues to overwhelm the Congo.


In other words, peace will never be secured in Congo, if the moribund status quo is still strutting around Kinshasa.


Obama's minimum objective in regard to ending the wars and human tragedy engulfing the Congo should be to push for changes in Kinshasa. He must make this one of the "10 Commandments" of the Obama Doctrine.


Circumstances demand it to re-energize Congo's chance of success and to enable the renaissance of a "New Africa." And given the effects of Congo's mounting death toll and the speed at which HIV/AIDS is spreading because of the use of rape as a weapon of war, the sooner the better.


2. Keep Kagame in the naughty corner


The wars and human tragedy engulfing the Congo have many fathers and many layers. Rwanda, and to some extent Uganda -- run by Africa's two dearest autocratic but staunchly pro-American regimes -- are, as they have been many times in the past, despite their denials, continuing to provide support to warlords and militia gangs terrorizing the Congolese people.


This is not an apocryphal claim, it's an open secret in Kinshasa, Kampala and Kigali as much as it is in Washington or White Hall, and as real as Charles Taylor's role in Sierra Leone or Iran's support to Hezbollah.



If President Obama is remotely serious about saving lives in Congo, then fracturing Rwanda's ability to directly or indirectly harbor warlords ... is critical.
Vava Tampa, Save the Congo



Indeed, reporters across Congo and across the region would testify to this. Kigali has been, one can safely argue, the sole shareholder in the M23 militia gang -- and its elder sisters CNDP and RCD-Goma.


It cannot wash its hands in Pontius Pilate fashion of either the ICC-wanted M23 warlord Bosco Ntaganda, also known as The Terminator, or Laurent Nkunda, who is wanted by the Congolese government for war crimes and is under house arrest in Kigali.


Read more: Prosecutor seeks new Congo war crimes warrants


If President Obama is remotely serious about saving lives in Congo, then fracturing Rwanda's ability to directly or indirectly harbor warlords, support militia gangs, militarize or ethnicize the wars in Congo for control of Congo's easily appropriable but highly valuable natural resources is critical, however politically disgruntling it may be to some in the State Department.


It would reduce the scale, scope and intensity of the killing, raping and uprooting of the Congolese, it would crush Kinshasa's ability to use external support to warlords and militia gangs as an alibi for a lack of progress and, above all, decrease the growing unease of the Congolese towards Rwanda over the crimes of FDLR and the role played by their government in Congo.


3. FDLR


The continued existence in Congo of FDLR, a Rwandan militia gang made up largely of Hutus -- whose leadership took part in the 1994 genocide of Tutsi -- remains one of the most persistent and serious threats to stability in Congo and the region.


Addressing this crisis is of significant importance from both a political and humanitarian viewpoint.


Though there are no definitive statistics on the exact numbers of FDLR fighters, the good news is that experts tell us that the vast majority of its rank and file are in their 20s and early 30s, which means they were too young to have taken part in the genocide in 1994.


The United States, together with the U.N., the EU and African Union, should appoint a special envoy for the African Great Lakes region to midwife a conducive political arrangement in Kigali that could see them returning home -- and see their leaders and fundraisers in Europe arrested.


The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Vava Tampa.






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Horsemeat 'contamination' could date back to August: Findus






LONDON: French frozen food supplier Comigel told the Findus brand that "the contamination" of processed beef products with horsemeat could date back to August 2012, Findus said in a statement Saturday.

"Findus want to be absolutely explicit that they were not aware of any issue of contamination with horsemeat last year," it said in a statement.

"They were only made aware of a possible August 2012 date through a letter dated 2 February 2013 from the supplier Comigel.

"By then Findus was already conducting a full supply chain traceability review and had pro-actively initiated DNA testing."

The opposition Labour lawmaker Tom Watson earlier claimed he had been shown by a retailer a copy of a letter that Findus sent to them on Monday.

He published an extract on his website.

"Investigations have led one of our suppliers based in France to inform us in writing on 2nd February 2013 that the raw materials delivered since 1st August 2012 are likely to be non-conform and consequently the labelling on finished products is incorrect," it said.

Britain's Food Standards Agency regulator announced Thursday that 11 of 18 samples of Findus beef lasagne were found to contain between 60 and 100 per cent horsemeat.

Asked by AFP to comment on Britain's food minister fearing a criminal conspiracy, a Findus spokesman said: "That's part of our investigations. We need to understand how the meat got into the supply chain. That's something we are working on with Comigel, as the supplier."

He did not know how long the investigation would take.

The spokesman said it was "still uncertain... where the meat exactly came from".

"The supplier has asked us to withdraw the raw material batches."

Findus said it was not taking part in the emergency food industry meeting taking place Saturday at the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.

"Findus did not receive an invitation to this summit. However they are aware that the Food and Drink Federation, of which they are a member, will be attending."

Sweden-based Findus has withdrawn various frozen meals from the market in France and Sweden.

- AFP/ck



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Family of victim in gun range death defends outing

MIDLOTHIAN, Texas The man killed alongside a former Navy SEAL sniper at a Texas shooting range was helping his friend work with a troubled war veteran, and the outing was intended to be a "therapeutic situation," his relatives said Friday following his funeral.

Hundreds of people attended the service for Chad Littlefield, who along with his friend, "American Sniper" author Chris Kyle, was fatally shot last weekend. Authorities have said the former Marine they were trying to help suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and turned on the two men at the shooting range.

Littlefield's father-in-law, Tom Montgomery, defended the notion of helping troubled war veterans through target practice. He said Kyle regularly took veterans to the shooting range, and that Littlefield often assisted in efforts to help veterans.

"As a gesture of friendship, that's the only way I can describe it, he was asked to help Chris in this endeavor," Montgomery said. "I think this was a form of relaxation, a form of therapy."

Police say the suspect, 25-year-old Eddie Ray Routh, shot Littlefield and Kyle multiple times on Feb. 2 before fleeing. He later told his sister and brother-in-law that the men "were out shooting target practice and he couldn't trust them so he killed them before they could kill him," according to a search warrant. Routh is jailed a $3 million bail.

The men could not have anticipated Routh's actions, Montgomery said, adding that Littlefield enjoyed assisting Kyle with his nonprofit, which provided in-home fitness equipment to physically and emotionally wounded veterans.

Kyle, 38, established the nonprofit after leaving the Navy in 2009 following four tours of duty in Iraq, where he earned a reputation as one of the military's most lethal snipers. His wartime account, "American Sniper," was a best-seller.

"I have to believe that Chris Kyle with all his military background and specialized training was quite capable of reading people," Montgomery said.

Hundreds turned out Friday to honor Littlefield at First Baptist Church in Midlothian, near Dallas. Although Littlefield wasn't a member of the military, Patriot Guard Riders led the procession as a tribute to his efforts on behalf of veterans and formed a ring around the parking lot and church entrance. Hundreds of other people lined local streets to watch the procession pass.

Littlefield, who had a 7-year-old daughter with his wife Leanne, was remembered for his bedrock character.

"He was a man of deep commitment and character," the Rev. Kenny Lowman said during the service.

Montgomery said Littlefield and Kyle bonded a few years ago as soccer dads watching their children play, and that their families occasionally vacationed together.

"People develop these ethics over a lifetime," he said. "I think Chad was the type of person who developed them and did what was right, even when no one was looking."

A memorial service for Kyle is planned for Monday at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington.

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Storm Drops More Than 2 Feet of Snow on Northeast













A fierce winter storm brought blizzard conditions and hurricane force winds as the anticipated snowstorm descended across much of the Northeast overnight.


By early Saturday morning, 650,000 homes and businesses were without power and at least five deaths were being blamed on the storm, three in Canada, one in New York and one in Connecticut, The Associated Press reported.


The storm stretched from New Jersey to Maine, affecting more than 25 million people, with more than two feet of snow falling in areas of Massachusetts, Rhode Island and New Hampshire.


FULL COVERAGE: Blizzard of 2013


In Connecticut, Gov. Dannel Malloy declared a state of emergency and closed all roads in the state. Overnight, snow fell at a rate of up to five to six inches per hour in parts of Connecticut.


In Milford, Conn. more than 38 inches of snow had fallen by Saturday morning.


"If you're not an emergency personnel that's required to be somewhere. Stay home," said Malloy.


In Fairfield, Conn. firefighters and police officers on the day shift were unable to make it to work, so the overnight shift remained on duty.


PHOTOS: Blizzard Hits Northeast


The wind and snow started affecting the region during the Friday night commute.






Darren McCollester/Getty Images











Blizzard Shuts Down Parts of Connecticut, Massachusetts Watch Video









Blizzard 2013: Power Outages for Hundreds of Thousands of People Watch Video









Blizzard 2013: Northeast Transportation Network Shut Down Watch Video





In Cumberland, Maine, the conditions led to a 19-car pile-up and in New York, hundreds of commuters were stranded on the snowy Long Island Expressway. Police were still working to free motorists early Saturday morning.


"The biggest problem that we're having is that people are not staying on the main portion or the middle section of the roadway and veering to the shoulders, which are not plowed," said Lieutenant Daniel Meyer from the Suffolk County Police Highway Patrol."The snow, I'm being told is already over two feet deep."


Bob Griffith of Syosset, N.Y. tried leave early to escape the storm, but instead ended up stuck in the snow by the side of the road.


"I tried to play it smart in that I started early in the day, when it was raining," said Griffith. "But the weather beat us to the punch."


Suffok County Executive Steven Bellone said the snow had wreaked havoc on the roadways.


"I saw state plows stuck on the side of the road. I've never seen anything like this before," Bellone said.


However, some New York residents, who survived the wrath of Hurricane Sandy, were rattled by having to face another large and potentially dangerous storm system with hurricane force winds and flooding.


"How many storms of the century can you have in six months?" said Larry Racioppo, a resident of the hard hit Rockaway neighborhood in Queens, New York.


READ: Weather NYC: Blizzard Threatens Rockaways, Ravaged by Sandy


Snowfall Totals


In Boston, over two feet of snow had fallen by Saturday morning and the National Weather Service anticipated up to three feet of snow could fall by the end of the storm. Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick enacted the first statewide driving ban since the 1978 blizzard, which left 27 inches of snow and killed dozens. The archdiocese told parishioners that according to church law the responsibility to attend mass "does not apply where there is grave difficulty in fulfilling obligation."


In New York, a little more than 11 inches fell in the city.


By Saturday morning, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg said nearly all of the primary roads had been plowed and the department of sanitation anticipated that all roads would be plowed by the end of the day.


"It looks like we dodged a bullet, but keep in mind winter is not over," said Bloomberg.






Read More..

Why I dread Chinese New Year




Kids see Chinese New Year through rose-tinted glasses.




STORY HIGHLIGHTS


  • Zoe Li: As an adult, Chinese New Year is an annual nightmare

  • It's a time when relatives have the right to be judgmental

  • Superstitious Chinese New Year foods often aren't that tasty




(CNN) -- For me, Chinese New Year used to be fun.


When I was a kid, I was excited during Chinese New Year when I got lai see and I could stay up late. I even had access to candy, a once-a-year treat while living under the roof of my Tiger Mom.


Riding strong on the sugar highs, I always thought to myself, this is what it must feel like to be an adult. I was flush, free and giddy.


Then at some point in my twenties, Chinese New Year became a chore. Not any garden variety chore, but a cold-sweat-inducing family obligation that I try hard to avoid.


As an adult, Chinese New Year is an annual nightmare, for the following reasons:


1. I find it sucks when you are single




Single twenty-something? Smile while you can until the interrogation begins.



Relatives feel that they have a right to judge you because you do share bits of DNA, so, really, it's almost like they're judging themselves.


Typically, the extended family gathers for Chinese New Year and spends an inordinate amount of time together, during which people get bored and focus their restlessness on judging the younger generation, particularly those who are single.


Singledom means a lack of responsibilities and responsibility-free people need to be reined in by the wisdom of elders, or they will be reckless with their directionless lives.


Here are some unavoidable conversations at Chinese New Year. By "conversations" I really mean monologues by one Wise Elder or another, fired away at a particular Single Younger in a trance-like manner:


"Why don't you have a boyfriend? If you have a boyfriend, why don't you get married?"


"Why are you not dieting at least a little bit? Second Cousin Yong Yong will have to start bringing clothes from America for you."


"What happened to your hair? Blue is not such a good color for us Chinese people."






"Are you saving up for an apartment? Why not? The most important thing in life is to have a roof over your head. You don't want to be homeless, do you? What if the economy collapses again? At least you will have an apartment."


"Why don't you get a better paid job? You are wasting your talent. You will regret your life."


2. I am employed


I loved the great Chinese tradition of gifting lai see. Getting HK$20 for no reason other than tradition really rocked my seven-year-old world.


I have an income now, so twenty bucks here and there doesn't make a huge difference, but I still retain that childhood anticipation for the red packets. It's just a bit disappointing when I open up an envelope and it isn't concealing a massive check.


And it's the guilt from feeling disappointed that makes me really hate Chinese New Year for making me hate myself.


It's just like being unable to conceal your letdown expression when unwrapping that pair of socks at Secret Santa parties.


Gifting is a heartwarming tradition. It's the thought that counts. I am not supposed to care. I am a bad person.


There's even worse.


Chinese New Year gambling is just out of hand.


Now that I have a job, I'm expected to bet real money at The Mahjong Table, a no man's land filled with hidden agendas, treacherous scheming and Janus-faced traitors.


If you beat your elder relatives at mahjong one too many times, beware their wrath. It really hurts when you get hit by a mahjong tile.


If you lose on purpose to your elders and are unable to skillfully conceal your purposefulness, you risk looking patronizing.


It will put them in a bad mood and lead to a vengeful "what are you doing with your life" interrogation later. See point number one.


If you're simply crap at the game, you lose a load of money and will probably be judged for being not very intelligent. See point number one again.


3. I like good food




Chinese New Year cake is good only when it's homemade.



When foreigners make jokes about Chinese eating weird foods, I cringe.


When Chinese New Year comes around, I'm the one making the damn jokes.


At this time of year, we do get some incredible festive dishes.


And then there are those odd ones that make you feel like the taste, texture and nutritional content of food have all become irrelevant -- we only eat for superstitions.


Lots of Chinese New Year foods are auspicious in meaning, but atrocious in taste. I propose that we at least get rid of these three that are now out of touch with our lives:


Chinese New Year cake


Called "leen go" in Cantonese ("niangao" in mainland China), the name sounds auspicious and means "to progress more and reach higher every year."


The cake is made from glutionous rice, sugar and flavored with red bean paste or jujubes. Cut into thin slices, dip into beaten eggs and pan fry until it's gooey on the inside and crisp on the outside.


The problem is, no one makes these at home anymore and the store-bought version is bland and stodgy, like eating slices of caulking.


Since glutinous rice is considered difficult to digest for the elderly, us Single Youngers who have nothing to lose are forced to finish the plateful.


Sugared lotus seeds


Back in the day -- before globalization brought us jelly beans and Sugus, before the invention of Coca-Cola, before Christopher Columbus brought cocoa beans to the Old World -- eating sugar-coated lotus seeds during Chinese New Year seemed like a good idea.


Today, we have so many more delicious ways to feed our sweet tooth, so why do people still buy sugared lotus seeds?


They look like mothballs, taste one dimensional and feel like a marble of sand broken upon the tongue.


The name "leen tsi" sounds like "to birth sons each year." No one in the family likes to eat them and most of them already have kids, which means us Single Youngers have to swallow.


Gok tsai


These are deep-fried sweet dumplings. The skin is a thick, lifeless pastry made from lard, the filling is a mind-numbingly sweet blend of sugar and nuts.


Its shape and color makes it, somewhat, resemble a gold ingot. Eating these symbolize prosperity for the new year.


If I had to run a marathon, I might appreciate the fat bomb. But the only thing that I run are scripts on my browser.


That point, like the others in this post, is lost on the Wise Elders, wise as they are.


The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Zoe Li. A former CNN employee, Zoe is a Hong Kong resident and edits the Hong Kong section of BLOUIN ARTINFO.






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